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Author Archives: Dhwaney

About Dhwaney

A little bit of this and a little bit of that and whole lot of crazies....

Pei-sa Vasool – Devi


So long weekend started with me downloading an app called YuppTV and casting it on Chrome! And then it was some movie time! I picked the Tamil Prabhu Deva starrer. Now now before you all judge me, the guy has a fantastic sense of timing in comedy and just in general…. 🙂
 
So the plot revolves around “Bhoot” (hence the Pei-sa for the bilinguals among you! ). Yet another bi-polar disorder film (remember Anniyan?) craftily guised behind a ghost! An interestingly layered plot with Prabhu Deva in the lead who manages to look flummoxed and funny at once. Tamannah too is quite spirited once she gets into the role. And the funnies keep coming. RJ Balaji is a scream. I found myself glued to his expressions even when he wasn’t delivering funny lines.

But like all other movies it ended predictably and that was a damper.

 
Fun, feel good horror comedy… !
 
Dee Score: B- (I have opted for this scoring from now on)
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Posted by on March 30, 2018 in Bijou

 

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Adieu to you…


The demise of the most beautiful face in India in the 80s came as an absolute “Sadma”. I was in transit when a friend msged me on Facebook which I confirmed via Google because my initial thought was it was a hoax. For how can one so young and vibrant die so suddenly? But as I read the News item reality hit me. She is exactly my age and where she stood gorgeous and tall a few days ago, she is now but a memory! WOW… How transient is life and how fickle!

 

But among all the noise about Sridevi dying, a thought struck me. Given her obsession (women after 50 become a little more obsessive about it) with her looks… her surgeries (remember she has had close to 37 surgeries to every part of her body) her diets (she literally starved herself to look as thin as she did)… isn’t it best that she died when she did… young and beautiful?

 

Honestly, think about it, all the operations and diets would have left her like Liz Taylor in the end… which she would have hated! It’s a release for her – a release from the impressions of the senses, and from desires that make her their puppets, and from the vagaries of the mind, and from the hard service of the flesh. Only the blessed die young. Old age is a curse that she has been spared!

 

She will forever remain etched in our memories as the beautiful nymph with large eyes and infectious bubbly character…. Let her lie in grace where she once live majestic and gorgeous!

 

Fare thee well…. Sridevi

 

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2018 in Bijou

 

Why you SHOULD date a Procurement Pro!


He: “Hey I just went out on my first date with Jenny on the third floor!”

Me: “Isn’t she the one Procurement? How did that go?? Stereotypically boring, I bet!”

He: “Dude. On the contrary, I have never had a better time in my life.”

Me: “WTF? Really?”

He: “Let me explain…”

 

She was WISE with money

“How about we order a bottle of champagne, Jenny?”

“Hmm … sure, I have the best champagne from Paris for exactly this occasion!”

Procurement professionals are sagaciously cost conscious. It’s in their DNA. At the first suggestion of “splashing out” with an expensive purchase, Jenny is looking at cost benefit analysis. She has planned months in advance and has sourced the best for less at the Christmas sale. She even bought that expensive French wine when she visited the winery in Napa! Esp for such an occasion…. She will never disappoint!

 

She was different!

“So … what have you got planned after the meal?”

“Well, Jenny – I thought we’d catch a movie.”

“Hmmm … Lets walk to the movies.”

 [Two minutes later …]

“Ooh look! Ballet… wanna try? If we don’t like it we can leave.”

 

Here’s the thing about procurement professionals. They thrive on negotiation. You are always right, but you will land up seeing things their way till it becomes your way! Win- Win! She has promised to catch Die Hard-4 next weekend! Apparently, she has discounted tickets for the opening! And I get another date!

 

She kept her word

“Hi Simon, Thanks for coming with me to the Ballet! Remember our date to the movies on Saturday? I’ll be ready at 7! ”

“Sure! See you then!”

 

Procurement and supply management experts know their way around a contract. They also have a laser-vision focus on ensuring every benefit listed in the contract is realised. She knows to get maximum benefit from the contract, she must keep an eye on managing it effectively to get the best value. She knows it’s a two-way process – where you give some to get what you signed up for! She will make sure, you get what you deserve and she gets what she wants!

 

She was full of surprises

[Later…]

“The movie was great Jenny! Would you like to go out again next week?”

“Sure! Why don’t you come over and I will cook you a meal?I”

“Sounds like a plan, Jen! I’ll see you Saturday!”

 

Procurement professionals are tasked with driving innovation in the supply base. This means that even when her suppliers are delivering in-full and on-time, Jenny is constantly looking for innovative ways to work smart and not hard! To her word, she had the loveliest meal ready, with lobsters and steak. Obviously, while I was busy talking, she was measuring me up, for she had stacked the house with my favourite beer and we had the choicest wine with dinner. She had mindfully rented a comedy action movie which we could both enjoy and when I left, she handed me a bag of things I loved and had mentioned in passing. Nothing misses a Procurement Professional! No emotional banter! We spoke about politics, religion, sport, cooking and finances! Not a dull moment! It was like the most interesting chat with the most beautiful guy!

 

Are you the lucky guy who is married to a procurement professional? Or are you dating (You lucky bastard!) one?

 

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2018 in Armchair Psychobabble with Deebran

 

Padmavat – or Khilji?


Padmavat: Well why they got rid of the ‘I’ is beyond me!!! Why there was any controversy is even farther than that! Especially from the Rajput community! SLB did a colossal job of keeping the Rajput, “aan baan and shaan”!

Firstly, it’s a Bollywood movie… and Bollywood movies are best, when they are farthest from reality! The masala just makes it all worth it! And I am a huge fan of SLB’s sets. He does do an awesome job of it! And Padmavat was no different. The sets, the attires, the jewellery, the whole gamut of shoshabaji… me likey! And Padmavat scored!!!!

Deepika looks lovelier as a princess, sans make up and jewellery that she does as the queen… Plus her beanpole height makes her awkward when trying to be lovey dovey! Though her dialogue delivery was good, she didn’t particularly seem to instil motivation in the women jumping into the fire with her! The whole thing seemed a bit scratchy! Shahid’s kohl ridden eyes and his new hair style and six pack always on exhibition are the only takeaways for him though… His role I felt was not too well articulated and try as he might he was just a stepney.  Much more visible is Jim Sarbh, superbly portraying the role of Malik Kafur, Khilji’s “bitch”! His lustrous look of longing is so palpable you can cut it with a knife! Aditi Rao Hydari, yet again does a superb job of her non-existent role.  And then there was the king’s first wife played by Anupriya Goenka. Gorgeous as she was, she may as well have not been there…! Her role ended so abruptly that I came out wondering why was she even needed!

But the movie belonged to Ranveer and only Ranveer. It may as well have been called Khilji! This kid has grown on me over the years and has turned into a seasoned actor, the likes of which Bollywood has never seen. As a student of history, let me tell you that it has been said, that the people in his rule were very happy. There was abundance of food and wealth. But the Khilji we meet is a scarred, unprincipled, barbaric manically-over-the-top brute! And in that role Ranveer is electric!!!! Not once does he try to make us like him… and quite honestly, I liked him even more for that! In one scene he is depicted as a savage biting into mounds of meat and that point exactly I thought I must write in the review that you could liken it to biting into his meaty role with the same gay abandon!!! And the song Khalibali… if I was watching it at home, I would have rewound and watched the song a few times… HE IS AMAZING!!! If you were to watch the movie just for him… I wouldn’t blame you!

But the movie has its flaws… one it is too long! I shudder to think just how much longer it was with the 300 scenes that were cut!!! If the movie had been just two hours long, it would have made a bigger impact! Two, the dialogues are written in the modern perspective. All this talk of neeyat and nazar is a rather modern woman talk, I think. I can’t imagine them being spoken in the 13th century! And then just a few minutes later, the queen asks her husband for permission to kill herself! So was she this independent forward thinking woman or was she a submissive sati wife? Three, there was an obscene amount of blood and gore. Four, whoever did the subtitles should be sacked! So bad! I was flanked by my son on one side and an Australian lady on the other and I kept correcting the subtitles 🙂  BTW the Australian lady in her 70s thoroughly enjoyed herself!

All in all… watch it on DVD and only as a Bollywood movie and you will be fine. Don’t judge it. Don’t compare it to real events! It’s a story no one is trying to rewrite history here. Just go with the flow and enjoy it.

DeeScore 3/5

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

Lipstick Under My Burkha


LIPSTICK UNDER MY BURKHA: Speaks eloquently of women finding their space in a male dominated world. Director Alankrita Shrivastava, comes up with a film which touches upon the current status and sexual desires of women in the India I left behind many year ago. I was quite intrigued by the name of the movie, enough to keep me watching!

I loved how the director skilfully weaved the story of four women through the narration of one erotica book ‘Lipstick Ke Sapne’. With the depiction of Rosy in the book, the lives and issues of these four women is portrayed realistically and seamlessly. Based in Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh, the movie successfully opens the doors and shows us what goes on behind them. Behind the closed doors  –

  • of a conservative Muslim girl’s room, where she dances sans music to let out the rage; of a couple’s bedroom,
  • of a couple’s bedroom where woman who is supposed to be a latent victim to her husband’s libido & chauvinist attitude;
  • of a girl’s beauty salon, where intimate advice is doled out as smoothly as the underarm hair is waxed off and
  • of an older woman’s bathroom where she runs a tap to muffle the moans of her desires.

As the movie wore on, I started to feel that it was the women portraying these lives on screen that gave Lipstick… its true colour. Konkona’s helplessness makes you think about every woman who is a second-class citizen in her own home. Her agony, aggression and helplessness as a cheated wife is worth every penny of the ticket price. And Ratna’s portrayal of an infatuated older woman in the throes of passion, will make you look at older women in a new light. Plabita and Aahana light up the screen. Though I couldn’t relate to them, it was quite believable.

The four women are ably supported by the male leads! Vikrant Massey steals the show with his impressive act. Sushant Singh is as always brilliant in his less is more act as a dominant sex-seeking husband. Shashank Arora is just about okay in his small role. And Vaibhav Tatwawaadi shines bright in his small yet prominent role.

Quite honestly, if it was not for the idea of weaving 4 stories through one and brilliant acting by all its actors, Lipstick…. Would have been just any movie.the climax was just so run-of-the-mill putting the women who bravely went against the norm for three hours exactly where they started! This tale of women’s equality and liberation may be a mirror of “New India” but the culmination just proves that we are still happy to leave it status quo. Plus the tight close-ups in cramped spaces to make you claustrophobic. The sex scenes though necessary could have been more aesthetic. And  Nothing tasteful…

All in all a fair watch… but leaves you wanting for more. Rather than drastically changing things for women, as was the claim… it barely smudges a few boundary lines.

DeeScore 3.2/5

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2018 in Lets Talkies

 

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Mersala!


I love Vijay movies because there is always a relatable theme, punch dialogues, super romantic scenes, a handleable amount of emo, colourful visuals, msala moments, peppy music, super dance and last but not the least star power!!!! With Mersal, we have got this year’s most engaging mass masala movie.

Nearly three hours of action packed, leave your brains at home drama. Like Mahan and three Amitabhs, this is Mersal with three Vijays and none of them bores! Please forget that the brothers are identical twins born 7 years apart or the child comes to life after a good half an hour of being dead with no one trying, or when Vijay singlehandedly moves the giant wheel…. sigh!!!! But that’s the ridiculousness I bargained for. Thankfully I didn’t quite get the last few lines (because my Tamil is borderline OK) which were controversial, so i don’t need to think about that! 

And my review would be incomplete without a word for the lovely Nithya Menon!! Once again she steals the show and runs away with it!

But honestly, Mersal did not disappoint! I went to get a belly full of Masala and oh did I!!!!

DeeScore: 3.5/5

 
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Posted by on October 25, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Life lessons…


Life is a balance between holding on and letting go..
Life is a ​journey from loneliness and solitude​
Life isn’t about finding yourself; it is about creating yourself..
Life’s most IMPORTANT things… are actually not things..
Life is about enjoying the small things today that make big memories tomorrow..
Life’s second chance is called tomorrow..
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but about dancing in the rain..
Life is all about how you handle PLAN B..
When Life is not an obsession change it..
Life becomes easier when you accept the apology you never got.
Life lived well is a life that either wins or learns..
Life doesn’t get easier; you get stronger..
 
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Posted by on October 14, 2017 in Higgledy-piggledy

 
 
Women in Bollywood

A journey through heroine-oriented cinema

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