All of us are a work in progress. We read and learn from others’ experiences and become the best “me” possible. My very first post under this new segment – Women in Business- has to be the self-deprecating, self- doubting syndrome called the Imposter Syndrome.
What is Imposter syndrome?
Simply put, Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which we continually have that nagging feeling of being a fraud, someone we are not. We fear that maybe we don’t really merit being in the position we are in. We doubt our own accomplishments. We wonder if we really deserve to be known as what we are known for… whether we really deserve the seat we adorn.
Why is it important to understand this subject?
Well, let me turn the question around on you… Have you ever felt this way, particularly in a business setting? Have you ever felt that you were somehow “less than”? Or have you ever had that irrational fear of being “exposed” – that somehow, they (whoever “they” are) are going to figure out that you’re not really as good as they think you are.
If you have answered with a big fat YES… then… the good news is… you are not alone! Studies indicate that an astounding 70 percent of people, be they men or women, have experienced this syndrome at some point in their lives. The syndrome disproportionately impacts the perfectionist and high-achieving individuals. So it is obvious that minorities such as women in business experience this at an even higher rate. That’s because, as research has proven over and over again, the more people who look like you in a room, the more naturally confident you feel.
So, yes, I do believe this is a critical topic in business. These are horrible feelings to have! And they really hold us back! We as women must find ways to overcome this self-doubt and own our power in the business world. We must know our worth and exude that with confidence.
What can we do
If this feeling of doubt is so prevalent, how do we as women overcome it? How do we develop confidence in the business world? Well, here’s some ways I have followed to overcome this feeling.
1. Do the work!
First and foremost, always do the work! There is no substitute for hard work.
If you are unprepared and feeling unconfident, that’s not a syndrome. -its just laziness! You have to do the work.
In my career in procurement, my aim was always to know more about my subject matter than anyone else in the room! That wasn’t arrogance. I just wanted to know my numbers and my facts inside and out, forwards and backwards, so that if a question arose, I knew the answer.
Likewise, this is your business. No one knows about your product better than you. Prepare for questions that might come up. Preparation is an easy confidence booster! Do the work. Over-prepare. Know your stuff. Trust me, if you can answer any question that is thrown your way, you have more than owned the room!
2. Jounal note
Journal your journey. No matter how small the win. Journal it. Remember, in the long run, it is an integral part of your journey. When you pattern the success, we look back with pride on the hills we conquer with as much awe as the mountains we climb, and we know we can climb the next one! It’s a great feeling.
But too often we forget if we don’t make note of it. So, write that stuff down! If you’re like me, seeing it in black and white on paper makes it more real. Grab a journal, pick up a pen, and take note of that tough thing you did today. I use One note which comes at a small yearly fee to go cross platform! But you never know when you want to journal something, right?!?!
3. Dress for success
When I say, “dress for success”, I mean it both literally and figuratively. Your physical presence matters! It matters to you and it matters to others. How you look impacts (a) how you feel about yourself, and (b) how others perceive you.
This is one of the most precious nuggets of advice I give young women in business and I cannot stress more:
Dress for what you want – not what you have.
Seriously. I cannot overstate this point. You want people to be able to picture you in that next role on the corporate ladder. When people think of you they should think, “Yes, I can definitely see that she is her product.” Or “I would love to do business with a woman like her”
I am in no way propagating being superficial. Remember my first rule… do the work. There is absolutely no replacement for work. Demonstrate competency and mastery of your business day in and day out. That is a given. But you must also look the part. Fair or not, that’s the way the world works. You must look to possess all the traits desired to be an influencer — polished, professional, pulled together, etc.
4. Fake or break
Furthermore, pay attention to the space you occupy. Stand tall, hold your shoulders back, keep your head up. Look people in the eye and greet them with a strong handshake. Sit up straight. Pay attention in meetings. Listen thoughtfully and give relevant, helpful input. There is nothing more embarrassing than being caught out with a question and all your hear is, “so what do you think Ms….?”
Trust me, no If you pretend you’re confident, some of that confidence just might rub off on you!
5. Social capital
“Lean on me, when you’re not strong…” – We all know the song, but it’s true. No one is an island unto herself.
Your friends and family are you social capital. Taking it a step further is the saying in Sanskrit, “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam” or the whole world is your family. In the West they call it, “the power of building a support system”. You may be intelligent, successful and hard-working but you are not an island. You are because of the people around you! On your own, you are only half as good as you can be when you have a supporting eco system.
We all could use the wisdom of those who have gone before us and the camaraderie of those who are in it with us. Find a mentor. Find a wing woman. Find a friend. We all need someone in our corner. When you’re having those moments of self-doubt, let the voice of a trusted colleague drown out the doubt by building you up.
6. Facts Facts Facts!
We all struggle with doubts and fears and insecurities and all that. Particularly as women, we tend to get emotional about things. I know that’s a big generalization, and maybe you are an exception, but it is true for many of us. We let our emotions get in the way.
But don’t let those feelings get in the way of facts. Don’t let an emotion stop your momentum. Ask yourself about the facts. What factual evidence exists to suggest that you are less-qualified, undeserving, or whatever? If you don’t come up with any factual evidence to support these negative feelings, then by all means, cast them aside!
7. Tarry a little
Be kind to yourself. You are better / stronger / smarter (or whatever else you would like to be) than you think you are most of the time. Be patient with yourself. Be gracious with yourself. As Pantene would say, it won’t happen overnight, but it will! Stop negative thoughts in its tracks and take a deep breath concentrating on facts only. Little by little, day by day, your thoughts will indeed shift. And that’s when your success story will shine through!
If all this resonates with you, try these techniques diligently. If so, have you found any coping mechanisms that have worked for you? I’d love to hear them! Let’s support and encourage one another in any way we can.
Finally, regarding the direction of this business series, I have a few topics in mind. But I am open to your suggestions! What questions can I answer for you? What topics can we discuss together? As you can tell, I’m passionate about this subject, and I’m excited to see where this business series takes us! Thanks for being a part of the discussion.
Dhwaney 